The Art of being selfish
Why Healthy Selfishness is a Key to Self-Realization
In a world that often encourages us to conform and meet expectations, we sometimes forget what it means to live our own life. Many people spend their lives conforming to the ideas and desires of others, rather than pursuing their own dreams. They are afraid of being labeled selfish when they follow their own needs. It’s time to change that and master the art of self-realization. A healthy degree of selfishness plays a crucial role — and it’s not as negative as many believe. Nobody would consider the instruction on an airplane “Put on your own oxygen mask first, before helping others” as selfish.
1. The Power of Self-Determination
Each of us has the potential to determine our own life and fulfill our wishes. Yet, we often allow ourselves to be guided by external circumstances and the expectations of others. The first step to self-realization is to become aware that you have control over your own life. It’s about being brave enough to make your own decisions and stand up for your own beliefs. Healthy selfishness means seeing yourself as a priority and taking your needs seriously.
2. Healthy Selfishness versus Harmful Selfishness
Selfishness is often seen as a negative trait because it is associated with ruthlessness and self-seeking. Yet, there is a difference between harmful selfishness, which intentionally hurts or ignores other people, and healthy selfishness, which prioritizes one’s own needs without harming others. Healthy selfishness allows us to set clear boundaries, practice self-care, and prioritize our own well-being.
3. Identifying Obstacles
An important aspect of self-realization is the recognition of one’s own weaknesses and obstacles. What is preventing you from leading the life you wish for? Is it external influences, negative habits, or perhaps even certain relationships? Healthy selfishness helps to recognize these obstacles and actively work on overcoming them by putting oneself and one’s needs at the center.
4. The Importance of Self-Reflection
To lead a fulfilled life, it is important to regularly pause and reflect on oneself. What are your true desires and goals? What activities and people truly enrich your life? By asking and honestly answering these questions, you can gain clarity on what you truly want and how you can achieve it. Healthy selfishness means taking the time for this reflection and acting accordingly.
5. Courage to Change
Changes can be scary, but they are often necessary to find personal fulfillment. Whether it’s about seeking a new job that truly makes you happy, or separating from people who don’t do you good — the courage to change is an essential step towards self-realization. Allow yourself to shed old habits and embark on new paths that better fit your true self. Healthy selfishness gives you the strength and courage to make these changes.
6. Self-Care and Setting Boundaries
Leading a fulfilled life also means taking good care of oneself and setting clear boundaries. Learn to say no and give yourself the time and space you need to recharge and recover. Self-care is not selfishness, but a necessity to stay happy and healthy in the long run. The example from the airplane fits perfectly here: “Always put on your own oxygen mask first, before helping others.” Only when you take good care of yourself can you be there for others.
The art of leading your own life requires courage, self-reflection, and the willingness to change. It’s about freeing oneself from the expectations of others and shaping the life that truly fits one. Healthy selfishness is not a hindrance, but a necessary tool for self-realization. By taking control of your own life and actively working on your self-realization, you can lead a more fulfilled and happier life.
Start taking the first steps today. Recognize your obstacles, reflect on your desires, and have the courage to make necessary changes. You have the power to take your life into your own hands and shape it according to your ideas — with a healthy degree of selfishness as the driving force.
